Releasing and Renewing

As this year comes to an end, things are being revealed to me in a swift way.  In the past few days, I’ve had so many negative revelations thrown at me.  I’ve been attacked verbally via email by someone I was a good friend to.  Just today, I had someone reveal to me some things that another good friend was saying behind my back; a friend who I really have believed cared for me when she said she did.  I felt immediate hurt and sadness.  I wanted to confront her, to try and figure out why she would be so harmful. Yet as I remained quiet inside of myself, I allowed my spirit guide to bring me greater understanding. This person is simply rooted in deep self hatred and jealousy. When she is done directing at me, and when I move away from her, she will find another person to direct it at. Confronting her would only push her deeper into that dark place she resides.  Instead, I choose to send her love, if even from a far as I quietly separate myself from the connection.

I understand through meditation that these things are being revealed to me with purpose so that when I move into this next phase of my life, I can freely release these connections, giving them love. I can leave behind the emotions they attempted to illicit and allow it to be another strong lesson of the capability of my love.  I hope that there is healing that comes for all of us. I can move forward knowing that I did the best I could with what I have been dealing with. 

I have been quiet silent in my own struggles, dealing with them through conversations with writing, nature and my own connection to Light.  I want to continue to allow them to help me learn to love without judgment, to speak without Ego and to accept each person where they stand. 

I accept my darkness, and I accept my light, understanding that each one allows me to have balance. When in the past I would have ran a thousand questions over in my head, wondering what I may have done wrong, this time, I can know that I kept my intentions rooted on surviving with as little burden on others as I possibly could, being grateful with the fullest of my being, and staying focused in the tasks that I know I must do.

I cleanse. I shed.  I renew myself, and I keep my eyes on the goal.